keefersutherlandin24:

THE ALWAYS SAY THEY’RE GONNA TAKE YOU TO PROM AND THEN THEY NEVER KNOW WHAT WEEK PROM IS AND THEN THEY ALWAYS SAY THE HAVE A SPANISH CULTURE THING TO GO TO THAT NIGHT AND THAT THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO GO ABD THEN WHE  YOU TEXT THEM THAT DAY THEY NEVER ANSWER AND THEN YOUR FRIEND ALWAYS SEES THEM DOWNTOWN LIKE RIGHT BEFORE THE PROM AND THEIR “SPANISH CULTURE THING” IS SUPPSOED TO START AND THEN YOU END UP NOT GOING TO PROM AND BEING SAD

(via elevendollarbills)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

(via e-lodicolo)

bluepartyhat:

Yo dawg I heard you like babies, so we gave you a baby with your baby so you can hatch a baby whilst hatching a baby

someone needs to tell gamefreak to make a baby version of kangashkan an actual Poke.

(via e-lodicolo)

nerdycouture:

Why Dragonball was the best show

(via e-lodicolo)

garymotherfuckingoak:

OH LOOK THIS ONE’S FOR YOU

            The day started out like any other. I was getting ready for work, and as usual, my girlfriend was preparing my breakfast for me. Eggs, bacon, and orange juice; the breakfast of champions. As I sat there enjoying my breakfast, my girlfriend told me she would be right back, as she had to get something for me. She ran upstairs as I was finishing my breakfast. I went over to get my coat from the coat closet, and noticed that my keys were not in their usual spot by the door. I began looking on the floor by the door, figuring I must have dropped them the last time I came inside the house. I didn’t find my keys, but instead I found a pile of yellow powder. Not knowing what it was, I rubbed some on my finger and smelled it. It smelled like flowers. I noticed that there was a trail of it leading into the house, so I decided to follow it. The trail led me back through the kitchen and into the back porch, which I rarely go in, as it is my girlfriend’s private study. I opened the door, and stumbled through the dark room. The stench of the powder filled the air. As I groped around for the light switch, I kept slipping on a gooey substance that covered the floor. Eventually I managed to flip the light switch, and looked around in horror at what I saw. There were giant flowers all around me, arranged in a circular pattern. In the center there was a giant hexagonal shaped structure composed of many smaller hexagons. The smaller hexagons were oozing the same gooey liquid that covered the floor. At the bottom of the structure, my keys lay in a mangled pile, bent and smashed to the point of being unusable. I began to panic, not knowing what to do. As I struggled to get up, I noticed that there was an open refrigerator in the corner of the room. I crawled over to investigate, and it was filled with nothing but bottles of sugar water. Suddenly, everything began to click. All of the information was falling in to place. It all made sense now. My girlfriend, who I had known for so long and been in love with so much, was actually a giant bee. I was so blind to not notice it before! The yellow powder must have been pollen that she collected from the flowers in the study. The oozing liquid was clearly honey, explaining the faint taste of honey on every meal she prepared. She must have taken my keys in order to keep me from leaving. The only question left was, what did she want to do to me? I knew what I had to do, and I also knew I didn’t have much time to act. I quickly made my way back to the house. I looked around frantically for my cell phone. I couldn’t find it; she must have hidden that as well. The only other phone in the house was the landline, which was located in the upstairs bedroom. I grabbed the biggest knife in my kitchen in order to defend myself, and crept upstairs as quietly as I could. I reached the top of the stairs, and I heard it. The faint buzzing sound made by her wings as she hovered in the air. I can’t believe I had let her convince me that the fans were just really loud for all these years! The buzzing was coming from the bathroom, which was at the opposite end of the hall of the bedroom. I made a dash to the bedroom and locked the door behind me. I went to the phone and quickly dialed an emergency contact number that I had gotten a long time ago. There was only one person who could help me now. He was an old friend, and I could only hope he would be able to reach me in time. As the call connected, I heard the monster that I thought loved me try to bust the door down. I prayed for the first time in years, willing the phone call to go through. Just as I heard a “hello?” on the other end, she busted through the door and rushed me, stinger ready to kill. I did a barrel roll and dodged the stinger, which crashed into the table and destroyed the phone. I made a break for the door, and escaped downstairs as she was trying to get out of the pile of debris that used to be my bookshelf. I ran to the front door, but it wouldn’t open. The locks had been tampered with. She was always the smart one. I ran to the back, narrowly dodging her stinger yet again. I thought I was home free, but before I could make it out the backdoor I slipped on a pile of honey and fell flat on my face, breaking my nose. As I lay down screaming in pain, she slowly hovered towards me, preparing her stinger for the final time, knowing it would kill us both. I tried to plea, to bargain, to reason with the creature, but she would have none of it. I even tried to profess my love, saying I would accept her even though she was a hideous creature from the deepest circle of hell, but still closer she floated, dancing in the air almost gracefully as she prepared to end both of our lived. I took a deep breath, and accepted my fate. As I waited for death to come, I heard the door bust down. My call had gone through. There he was, Nathan Fillion, professional bee exterminator. The creature turned its attention away from me long enough for me to reach into my boot and get my extremely large kitchen knife, and prepare myself to strike. She rushed Nathan, but he was ready. He whipped out the biggest can of “RepelAll” I have ever seen in my entire life, and sprayed the whole thing on her. She flew backwards as if she was smashed by an 18-wheeler, letting out the most horrible, piercing screech I have ever heard. Nathan wouldn’t let up, and continued to spray the contents of the can onto my former love. When he was finished, she was barely even alive. She lay on the floor, shriveling up in a puddle of the repellant. I walked over to her, and caught her compound eyes. I looked deep into those eyes, and saw years of memories, good and bad. I saw the girl I had once fallen in love with, trusted, and was willing to give everything for. But I looked back up at Nathan, and met his gaze. I knew what had to be done. I took my knife and plunged it right into her chest. She screeched again, but didn’t die. I was puzzled at first, but then remembered that a bee’s heart is located in the back, not the front, so I flipped her over and stabbed her there too. She fell silent. A wave of relief swept over me. I looked around at the carnage and disaster that had become my home, and then looked back at Nathan. We both started laughing hysterically. I decided I had earned a day off from work today, so I called in sick and went to go grab a tall cold one with Captain Reynolds. As I left the house, the bright sun shone into my eyes and all turned white. It was then that I woke up, and realized it was all a dream, and I was going to be late to my Intro to Poetry final if I didn’t get ready soon. And that was the strangest dream I have ever had. 

iheartpokemon:

The sad life of a Wooper…

(via wearewanderingbutnotlost)